Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: An Expat’s Guide to Man’s 6th Sense

Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier letter box mail
Photographer: danist soh
Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: An Expat’s Guide to Man’s 6th Sense

Getting “that message” from an ex both incredibly gratifying and infuriating.  It seems like it’s the new vogue to write an apology letter to your ex-girlfriend.  It’s like it just sits there waiting and waiting for the exact moment she’s over you.  The moment she’s moved on and might just finally be happy, he clicks ‘send’.  Is this man’s 6th sense?  Has Google created a new alert?  Am I the last to know that they’ve created the latest algorithm in social media f*ckery?

Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier dark night box light letter signage neon
Photographer: Adam Birkett
He Hurt You

In this letter, he finally takes responsibility for all the things he did wrong.  All the times he lied (and the corresponding gaslighting), all the times he perpetuated gender stereotypes, all the times he just wouldn’t listen.  How did he come to the realization that this was the perfect moment to bare it all?  Why is right now the perfect time for him to come to his senses?  How does man’s 6th sense determine the right time to connect?

Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier facebook social media smartphone mobile technology letters
Photographer: Wilfred Iven
Creep…Creep…Creepin’

I have no doubt that a recent post encouraging communication between partners is the most recent source for “the apology letter”.  What about the other times, though?  My rebound after H got his friend to message me on Facebook to see if I was going to Busan for an event.  This friend owns a travel company and it was pretty clear that there was no way in hell I was getting on the bus for this sold out trip.  How do these people know that you’re off the market?  Most of these messages come from men with whom I’m no longer even connected through social media.  Even if they are able to look on Facebook or instagram, the messages are sent before there’s any sort of public trail of the relationship.  It’s like how dogs can sniff out fear.  These douche-canoes can sniff out happiness and want to stifle that shit immediately.

Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier - flower pink petal bloom garden plant nature autumn fall tulip violet love passion intimate lettering
Photographer: Brigitte Tohm
Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

I went out with a military man who was just dying to make the blog.  He was, indeed, a Tinder fail story.  He lied to me about his location for no reason with the full knowledge that Tinder shows you the distance between you both.  We lived pretty close to one another already.  When he said he was out in the bush running drills, he was actually cursing the high cost of a side of guac at Lotte World Mall.  I wouldn’t have cared if he was too busy to hang, but don’t tell me you’re being eaten alive by mosquitoes out in the peninsula.  The night before H came to Korea, I got a lengthy message from MM apologising for it all.  He even told me he had gone deaf in one ear and had nearly lost his job.  We had only been out maybe 3 or 4 times.  He owed me nothing.  Some cosmic force in the universe (or man’s 6th sense) must have whispered that Cartier might be happy so it was the perfect moment to insert his thinly-veiled attempt at roping me back in.

Letters from the Ex: Man's 6th Sense stone wall letters symbols
Photographer: Matthew Wheeler
Hieroglyphics

What does it all mean?  Well, man’s 6th sense seems to hit him like a pile of bricks once he realizes there’s a chance you won’t agree to another shot.  It’s not that he wants you back, he wants you to want him back.  Toxic relationships are less partnership, more power struggle.  He wants to have the upper hand back and he can feel that it’s gone.  The best part?  By this point you really should no longer care.

Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend: Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier clipboards papers text quotes letters wood grain magic
Photographer: Chelsea Francis
Get Creative

Gentleman, what you must realise is that your messages contain several of the same phrases.  When you all write the same thing, it doesn’t sound genuine.  Here are some of the canned phrases in each message I’ve received:

  • “I just want you to be happy.”
  • “You’re an incredible woman.”
  • “You deserve the best in life.”
  • “Even if we don’t get back together, I hope we can at least be friends down the road.”
Letters from the Ex-Boyfriend - Man's 6th Sense - That Girl Cartier - card board letter paper slogan hand green tree plant nature
Photographer: Corinne Kutz
It is well.

It’s lovely for you to admit that you were wrong.  It’s validating to have all those worries and frustrations confirmed as your own f*ck ups.  I’m glad you’ve managed to clear your conscience.  Next time, don’t bother drudging up the past.  The notion that I’ll ever see a travel romance again is ridiculous.  We didn’t work out.  I’ve released your ghost.  It is well.

Like it? Pin it! Hover over the images to pin ’em to your board.

Seoul Dating: How to Get Him to Commit

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. sky clouds grass outdoor people couple love smile happy man guy girl woman dating holding hands
Photographer: Jena Postma

How to Get Him to Commit

I’ve been seeing tons of click-bait headlines making their way through the travel, expat, and lifestyle communities.  Figured I’d give this one a shot, too.  So sue me, right?  Not quite – read on to see how you too can get him to commit with this one amazing tool.

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. bokeh people couple happy kiss man woman smile christmas lights love heart
Photographer: Freestocks.org

Breaking the Rules

I’ve already gone back on my word by entering into a relationship with a) someone I met through Tinder, and b) on my list of the 7 Worst Guys an Expat Can Date.  If you’ve read Expat Dating Diaries: The Military Man you’ll know that there are some dirty dawgs out there especially in and around Itaewon.  I met my new Co-Pilot at Souva, which has quickly become the latest hot spot for my coupled-up pals.  In our first week and a half we had been to at least 7 restaurants together, watched 4 movies, made dinner twice, and climbed a freaking mountain.  He mentioned me to his parents and mine got the Skype update 2 weeks in.  I know you’re still wondering how to get him to commit, but I’m sure you’re also wondering if good ol’ Cartier’s going to get boring with a boyfriend.

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. people girl beauty mobile phone talking communication gadget technology city blur
Photographer: Matthew Kane

No More Drama

It wouldn’t be the Seoul expat dating community without a little bit of drama (I know this is what you came for :P).  This wouldn’t be the Expat Dating Diaries without unnecessary drama, right?  Well, shocker!  My new beau went out on dates before he met me!  There are a few women with whom he’s been out who are friends of friends of mine.  One in particular was pretty pissed when he let her down easy (via text – party foul, I know).  After she screamed at me, I told him straight out that if we were going to do this we wouldn’t be with anyone else.  If either of us change our minds down the line that’s fine.  That said, a certain conversation needs to happen if either of us want to start seeing other people.  This leads me to the most important tool you can have in your arsenal if you want to know how to get him to commit.  Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else.  How do you get him on the same page?  This one’s simple…

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. still items things puzzle painting fine art gustav klimt the kiss bokeh
Photographer: Freestocks.org

The One Amazing Tool

What’s this one elusive tool to use when wanting to know how to get him to commit to you?  COMMUNICATION.  There’s no big secret.  He’s not a f*cking mind-reader.  TALK with your Seoulmate!  Communication is a tool we all have within our big ol’ bag o’ tricks, but when it comes down to it we rarely feel confident enough to share our feelings effectively.  The biggest flaw in my last relationship is that I felt powerless what it came to expressing my wants and needs.  When I tried to initiate a conversation about things which bothered me, he “was bored” and didn’t want to hear it.  In my mind, my last relationship was just a silly little travel romance in the beginning.  Never in a million years did I think he’d skip out on an epic SEA adventure to come live with me in South Korea.  I didn’t tell him what I needed and wanted right from the start.  When he started weaving dreams of a real future beyond Asia, somewhere we might settle down, I scoffed and moved on.  When I started to believe the fantasy, he pulled away.  We weren’t on the same page at all.

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. people write notebook diary pages sheet work office pen polaroid pictures photography black book plate coffee tea mug cup novel laptop macbook apple keyboard technology
Photographer: Thought Catalog

Fake News

For someone who “hated social media” as much as he did, he sure checked his instagram likes regularly.  It blew my mind that he thought I was demanding he give up the “opportunity of a lifetime” to come live with me.  It drove me mental that he wrote his younger female travel companion a love letter on Facebook when he took off from Cambodia to come to Korea.  When he left Korea to head home, he shared: “too many people to name.  It’s been emotional.”  I was proud to be with him, yet he tried to hide me.  He was always pleased to be tagged in cool hipster photos at the palace or beachy pics with the lads.  Unfortunately, he refused to acknowledge our life together publicly.  Looking back that should have been a HUGE red flag.  I wanted to shout from the top of every mountain in Korea that I was happy with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell his own network he had a girlfriend.  It’s such a night and day difference to have an intelligent, accomplished, handsome gent tell me he’s happy to be with me at the top of a mountain we climbed together.

That Girl Cartier - Time and time again girls lose their minds over men who choose someone else. How do you get him to commit? This one's simple. people man woman couple lovers sweet nature trees grass forest trunks
Photographer: Emma Frances Logan Barker

Looking Forward

Maybe this relationship will crash and burn tomorrow.  Maybe it’ll withstand the tests of all the small town (ahem HBC) murmurings.  If you don’t have the exclusivity conversation with your desired partner, then you can’t be angry with him (or her) for continuing to date.  If this person meets someone else with whom they have more in common, you can’t fault them for wanting to pursue a relationship.  You didn’t communicate your desires.  If you’re not getting the answer for which you’ve been searching, then move along.  He’s not going to fall in love with you just because you’ve been hanging around.  It doesn’t matter if you have beer-flavoured nipples.  No matter how much you pretend to love Star Wars, if he doesn’t love what you’re actually into then what kind of foundation are you building?

How to get him to commit?  

Talk to him (or her) for f*cks’ sake!

Like it? Pin it!

Seoul Dating: This Is What You Came For…isn’t it?

Rihanna - This Is What You Came For - That Girl Cartier

Seoul Dating: This Is What You Came For

Dear Wonderful Readers and Internet Trolls,

It has come to my attention that I’ve become known around Seoul as “the girl who goes on dates and then writes about them”.  Cool.  Let’s go ahead and clarify that, shall we?  ThatGirlCartier has been around since 2009 (on Twitter).  If you want the roots of the name itself, go check out one of my first posts on this site.  On instagram?  You can creep me back to 2012 there.  You’ll see pictures of food, fashion, fitness, culture, travels, a variety of weights and hairstyles, and oh yes – a couple of ex boyfriends.  That’s life, ladies and gentlemen.  Expat dating is tough!  Seoul dating is a minefield.  Just like Juicy Couture sweats and UGG boots, some things don’t last. If Juicy is any indication, some things might just return (you know who you are and yes, you’re welcome back – just say the word).

Gossip Girl Seoul Dating That Girl Cartier

xoxo Gossip Girl

The idea that I’m some sort of “Land of Morning Chaos – xoxo Gossip Girl of Seoul Dating” is ludicrous.  That said, if any of the show’s designers want to dress me I would not put up a fight.  Also, wasn’t Gossip Girl a dude in the end? Writing bits and bobs about my silly Seoul dating life seems to be a bigger deal to men than it is to women.  Men seem to either really appreciate my writing from an outside perspective, or take what’s written too personally.  To those who understand this to be entertainment and defend me and my right to write, thank you!  To those guys who “would never go on a date with a dating blogger”, well this one’s for you.

Seoul Dating That Girl Cartier

Express Permission

If an expat dating experience ends up on That Girl Cartier it’s because express permission has been granted to share whatever has occurred on the date.  Tinder often initiates Seoul dating.  I’ve mostly got stories in the vault which aren’t all that interesting.  A lot of people ask to be featured on The Toronto Seoulcialite.  One guy even snatched my phone for a couple’s selfie just in case he “made the article” I was thinking about writing on Olympic Park.  This is not new.  Expats constantly ASK to be featured on the site. The marketing men, military men, locals, teachers, or anyone else from the list want to be here.  It is astoundingly easy to get material, because people love having our experiences shared anonymously online.  Sometimes they’re exaggerated.  Most of the time they’re not.

Expat/ Seoul Dating That Girl Cartier

Hey Friends,

I recently shared a tidbit on my personal Facebook page from a comically bad first date.  My personal profile is just that: personal.  Venting and sharing anecdotes on my personal page should not be grounds for an attack.  I feel that everyone’s entitled to share personal opinions on Facebook.  November 8th and 9th, January 20th, and the past month have been great indicators of just how many personal opinions people share on Facebook.  I’m a writer.  Your antics won’t get published to my site without permission.  Please continue to be ridiculous and make me push my own boundaries, too.

Remember friends, readers, and trolls, this right here?  This is what you came for.  

I wouldn’t have 3 times more views on this silly little website than its informative sister site if it wasn’t.

WDTDT: Who Pays on the First Date?

iphone mobile smartphone technology headphones earbuds recording audio voice business visa money finance credit card pen notepad travel

Photographer: Wilfred Iven

Why Do They DO That?!: Who Pays on the First Date?

This new series entitled “Why Do They DO That?!” (henceforth: “WDTDT”) is all about the things that some men do which baffle women.  On wine nights the ladies have gone through it all.  We’ve asked “why would he go back to her?”, “why won’t he call/ text?”, “why won’t he kiss me if he says he likes me?”, etc.  The thing that baffles me the most is what they won’t do, or the sneaky and conniving things that some men do.  This leads me to the age old question (for our generation, at least), “Who Pays on the First Date?”

Read to the end for my personal take!

food appetizers cutting board bread cheese olives toothpicks cured meat cold cuts wine glass eating

Photographer:  Jay Wennington

It Begins…

This is a situation I’ve encountered first-hand, but have heard from other gal pals as well.  I find that this is particularly prevalent with guys you meet online.  Whether it be Tinder, POF, OK Cupid, or even instagram, these particular guys have a heavy rotation for a specific reason.  You chat for a bit online and he suggests meeting up.  He suggests a trendy new restaurant you’ve wanted to try.  Great!  You share a couple of dishes and he either says he’s not going to drink at all or he has a cheap bottle beer.  Trying to match the vibe of the date, you either have the same beer, something of the same value, or water.  You don’t want to go overboard, right?  You don’t want him thinking you’re some sort of alcoholic or that you’d win first prize in a pie-eating contest.

bar wheel drinks beverages liquor store alcohol people talking men women

Photographer:  Mitch Rosen

He likes You (maybe)!

You finish up, you’re still a bit hungry, and he suggests you move on to the next spot.  Awesome!  He wants to spend more time with you.  He likes you!  What you may or may not realize is that in your effort to be polite and accommodating, he’s been in control the whole time.  He grabs the cheque, you pull out your wallet, and he insists on paying.  Ever so sweetly and carefully he lulls, “you can get the next one”.  Why do they DO that?! I think you know why…

night dark lights bar celebration restaurant drinks alcohol beverage food

Photographer:  Alex Knight

Bourbon by the Barrel

Your next spot is uber hip with a great atmosphere, low lights, and expensive cocktails.  He’s pulled this trick before and wants you to foot the bill for his top shelf Boulevardiers.  This might be the point at which you’re tuned into his ploy, it might not.  Most girls I know don’t want to poke the bear, so instead of saying something we’ll go along with it and balance out his suddenly extravagant tastes with house wine or draft beer.  While he’s downing two at once, you’re pacing yourself.

Spirit hennessy bottles bottle service brandy bar drinks alchohol club

Photographer:  Olu Eletu

So…Who Pays on the First Date, Then?

In this situation, you’re both paying.  That said, you’re paying through the nose for his wild night out since he’s made the initial investment.  This has actually happened to a friend of mine and me in Seoul with the same guy.  She’s had some bad luck having also been out on a date with The Military Man (yep – Mr. Cherry Freak himself), too.  This guy has the same M.O. each time: he takes the girl for Korean Barbecue, orders some soju (maybe $2 a bottle?), eagerly foots the bill, and then suggests much pricier spots in Gangnam.  When the remaining cheque(s) arrive, he sits back, sneers, and gives the same line without missing a beat, “your turn”.

man woman people friends gathering event straws cocktail group glasses still bokeh

Photographer:  Gabriel Gurrola

Who Should Really Pay on the First Date?

I think that in this day in age, especially if you’re both teachers in Korea making the same salary, it’s ideal to go Dutch.  If you’re in a relationship show that you care for one another by thoughtfully bringing over his favourite beer or wine for movie night.  Never arrive at someone’s place empty-handed.  This is pretty much a rule whether you’re dating or not (and with men and women, alike).  If you are dating, go back and forth, but don’t be a doormat (that one goes for guys and girls, too).  A relationship is a partnership.  If you want a sugar-daddy (or a sugar-mama!) there are plenty in and around Seoul.  If you want a partnership, however, it’s a two way street, ladies and gents.

Like it? Pin it!

Have you been out with someone who played you with the line, “Your turn”?  Have you felt like you were completely missing your backbone in that situation?  Let us know in the comments!

Expat Dating Diaries: The Military Man

Expat Dating - The 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date - That Girl Cartier

Photographer: Amanda Jordan

I’d like to preface this edition of the Expat Dating Diaries with a lengthy note to all readers.  Scroll down to TL;DR to skip!  This series is designed to be sarcastic.  It’s designed to incite a knowing laugh from women around the world living abroad.  Many of you have met men like the ones in The 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date.  This is not a man-hating article.  This is not a man-hating series.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  I love dating!  The stories and laughs I get from horrible dates make for girls’ night hilarity.  The shared moments and memories from great dates make all the bad ones worth it.

soldier military camouflage war smoke man people

Photographer: Tyler Barnes

To the gentlemen reading (we’re about half and half, right now according to Google), thank you for checking out my blog.  Sorry for the make-up and mush, but I’m assuming you knew what you were getting yourself into.  You probably can’t relate at all to these guys, you can see a couple of traits here and there in yourself, or you just want a good laugh at someone else’s expense.  You could switch these statements right around and apply them to the ladies, too.  I’m sure there are a number of traits you recognize in women from which you’d like to stay away.  Why am I only writing about the dudes?  ‘Cause I don’t date women.

fly clouds sky plane airplane air

Photographer: Takahiro Sakamoto

I have several friends married to wonderful men serving in the military.  Some of them even met in Korea and got married here!  My family has a history in the RAF (my badass Grandmother) and the RCAF (my Grandfather).  I dated a kind and generous man in the Air Force.  I have no issue with the military.  If you find a diamond in the rough, the Military Man will be the most loyal and caring gentleman in the world.  The standard review of the Military Man (MM) in Korea, however, is that he’s a dirty dawg.

pilot helicopter flight trip travel rescue marine sky people man rope hang

Photographer: Richard Revel

TL;DR

Whew!  Now that that’s over with, let’s move on to the story.  The Military Man wants to settle down…in theory.  Being deployed over and over again means he’s a lone wolf.  More often than not he’s “exclusively dating” a few lovely ladies.  I’ve seen this countless times and am heartbroken for my friends who have been hurt.

sparklers people hands celebration american flag party friends group

Photographer: Alondra Olivas

Three’s A Crowd

This is the kind of story I hear again and again.  My friend from Busan met a Tinder guy in Seoul for brunch.  He flew down to party with us in early spring.  They continued to see each other long-distance, and she was smitten.  The thing about men in Korea is that they seem to think that they’re entitled to two separate entities: foreigners and Koreans.  They seem to believe that never the two shall meet.  One long weekend 6 months into dating, she went up to stay with him.  She left his place Monday morning as he had to work.  Imagine her surprise when that very afternoon she saw him walking hand in hand with his Korean girlfriend off base in Gangnam.  Wasn’t he supposed to be at work?  Hadn’t they banged at his place that morning?

american flag usa united states helicopter air flying blue sky

Photographer: Skor

The Cherry Incident

My favourite MM is a guy I have actually met on several occasions.  We met through mutual friends on a day known in history as “the cherry incident”.  This guy is in the army and has quite possibly the most beautiful apartment I’ve ever seen in Korea.  Marble counter-tops, hardwood floors, a Japanese toilet, and le piece de resistance: a washer and a dryer. When my gal pals, my ex, and I were invited over to his place, he provided top shelf alcohol, mixes, and garnishes and told us to help ourselves.

cherries fruits food healthy bowl

Photographer: Danielle MacInnes

For nearly 2 hours he rattled on and on about these beautiful, succulent, marinated cherries which were perfect in a Manhattan.  My friend had to try them, of course!  She couldn’t open the jar, so after an eternity of trying she handed it over to me.  Just as the lid to the jar popped open, time stood still and I heard a slow motion “Nooooooo!” from our host MM.  The rest of the night was tainted by the wailings of a sullen MM butt hurt that his pristine jar of cherries had been opened and would have to actually be used.  He also hit on me in front of my (now ex) boyfriend, then proceeded to tell me he wanted a one night stand with any of my friends in attendance.  Class act, MM.

fighter jet air force flying

Photographer: Jeff Cooper

Fast forward to March when I moved from Busan to Seoul.  MM saw me on Tinder, and when we didn’t match he went and found me on instagram.  I was all moved in, but for two months he insisted he needed to help me move.  It’s impressive the creative ways these guys think up when trying to weasel their way into your apartment.

restaurant dining table chairs wine glasses plates utensils lights bottles alcohol eating people leather water

Photographer: Leeroy

Musical Chairs

While I haven’t dated this guy, I’ve now met 4 girls who have.  One of them was actually his live in girlfriend during the cherry incident.  We didn’t meet that night, but I would later find out that she (and 3 other friends of mine) had been wined and dined by this MM.  He’s tried to intercept a couple of my friends’ dates by inviting their party of two over to his table.  He even flew a Tinder girl from the United States to Vietnam to meet up for a tryst, and when she wouldn’t put out he cancelled her ticket home.

architecture building structure wall clock military soldier army parachute sky clouds church

Photographer: Erik-Jan Leusink

The MM manages his time (and women) exceptionally well.  He’s an sensational liar and a master manipulator who can maintain several relationships at once.  Camouflage is key.  His phone is glued to him at all times.  He’ll never let you see it, of course.  MM must reply immediately for fear of mixing up names and dates.

Here lies Episode II of the Expat Dating Diaries and the 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date.  

Like it? Share it!  Put a pin in it:

Korean Make-up in 4 Minutes

4 Minute Korean Make-up Routine That Girl Cartier

During the week I hate wearing makeup.  I work with kids so I’d rather be able to rub my eyes if I need to than look all done up.  I live in Korea, however, so when I don’t wear makeup I immediately either look super tired or ill.  When prospective students (read: their parents) come to school, I have to look presentable.  This means cheerful-looking and fully made up.  Thankfully, beauty routines in Korea can be either painstakingly long, or ridiculously efficient.  As someone who uses makeup remover wipes, facial cleanser, and moisturizer only (in Korea this is considered “wash n’ go”), I choose the latter.  Here are my steps (and the cheapest links on Amazon) to a quick and easy 4 Minute Korean Make-up Routine.

** I’ve included the cheapest options available on Amazon so that if you want any of the products you won’t be over-paying.  As an Amazon Partner I will make a small commission, but you will not pay more because of it.**

Korean Make-Up

(in 4 minutes!)

Start With…

NATURE REPUBLIC Super Origin Collagen BB Cream

With this BB Cream, a little goes a long way.  Make sure you don’t over-do it or it’ll appear cakey.  I’ve tried a number of BB and CC Creams from Korea and Japan, and when it comes to the first layer Korean make-up is my preference.  I always end up going back to my Nature Republic BB Cream, too.  It has a plant-based collagen.  It lasts all day and leaves my skin feeling soft and smooth.  Bonus – I don’t look like a water ghost in photos with this BB cream even though it has SPF 25.

How to use:

I’ll wash my face right when I wake up then apply my daily moisturizer.  This leaves at least a little time for it to soak in before applying any makeup.  Get dressed, put on your coffee if that’s your morning routine, then get to the Korean make-up.

Apply a small amount of the BB cream to your face.  Gently blend in the cream.  I always pay special attention to the area around my nose because it tends to get quite red, but do you, honey-boo.

ACTIVE INGREDIENTS

Active Ingredients: TITANIUM DIOXIDE 6.4%, ETHYLHEXYL METHOXYCINNAMATE 3%, ZINC OXIDE 1.9%

INACTIVE INGREDIENTS

WATER, CYCLOPENTASILOXANE, DIPROPYLENE GLYCOL, GLYCERIN, TALC, PEG-10 DIMETHICONE, DIMETHICONE, ARBUTIN, HEXYLDECYL MYRISTOYL METHYLAMINOPROPIONATE, DISTEARDIMONIUM HECTORITE, ISOEICOSANE, MAGNESIUM SULFATE, DIMETHICONE/VINYL DIMETHICONE CROSSPOLYMER, SILICA, C12-14 PARETH-3, SEA WATER, VINYL DIMETHICONE/METHICONE SILSESQUIOXANE CROSSPOLYMER, PIPER METHYSTICUM LEAF/ROOT/STEM EXTRACT, IRON OXIDES, PHENOXYETHANOL, ACRYLATES/DIMETHICONE COPOLYMER, METHICONE, ALUMINUM HYDROXIDE, ALUMINUM STEARATE, METHYLPARABEN, BETAINE, FRAGRANCE, PROPYLPARABEN, TOCOPHERYL ACETATE,
JASMINUM OFFICINALE (JASMINE) EXTRACT, NELUMBO NUCIFERA FLOWER EXTRACT, ROSE EXTRACT, FREESIA REFRACTA EXTRACT, IRIS VERSICOLOR EXTRACT, LILIUM CANDIDUM BULB EXTRACT, NARCISSUS PSEUDO-NARCISSUS (DAFFODIL) FLOWER EXTRACT, BUTYLPARABEN, ADENOSINE, ACACIA SENEGAL FLOWER/STEM EXTRACT, HYDROGENATED LECITHIN

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Then put…

Skin Food Salmon Dark Circle Concealer Cream

No.1 Blooming Light Beige

See those dark circles above?  Yeah, so do my kindergarten students!  The first day I used this dark circle concealer cream not only did my kids stop pestering me about my dark and puffy under-eyes, even my boss noticed and gave me a compliment on how naturally beautiful I looked.  Natural, my @$$…but I’ll take it!  Notice the key ingredient in the name?  It doesn’t just look salmon-coloured, it actually has salmon oil in it.  Skin Food’s products usually contain some sort of natural ingredient to “feed the face”.  See if you can find the other edible ingredient later on in the post!

How to use:

Again, with Korean make-up always use product sparingly as a little goes a long way.  take the pot and lightly dab your ring finger to pick up product.  Apply in soft, short dabs to under the eye.  Pay special attention to the inner corner as that’s where things are typically darkest but can also get cakey-est.  If you want to add a step you can apply some loose powder to set, but personally I don’t have time for that on a week-day morning.

I still look like a ghost, but my dark circles are gonezo, right? 🙂

INGREDIENTS:

Petrolatum, lanolin oil, caprylic/capric triglyceride, paraffin, polyethylene, aluminum starch octenylsuccinate, sorbitan sesquioleate, glyceryl tribehenate/isostearate/ eicosandioate, microcrystalline wax, tocopherol acetate, salmon egg extract, salmon oil, palmitoyl tetrapeptide-7, N-hydroxysuccinimide, chrysin, diacetyl boldine, ascorbyl tetraisopalmitate, glycerin, steareth-20, propylparaben, fragrance, water, titanium dioxide, iron oxides.

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Next up…

Son & Park Face Lighting & Shading, Highlighter & Shading Set 

I actually use the “shading presso”, but that’s not currently available on Amazon so here’s the next best thing.  I have developed a technique which combines contouring and just simply mashing bronzer all over your face.  It’s called: get a kabuki brush and a kit that has bronzer and highlighter (then essentially mash it all over your face in an E shape on the left of your face and a 3 shape on the right).  Enjoy!

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Image result for mac blush

MAC Blush Powder

Find the colour that’s right for you and pop it over your cheekbones, down your nose, and along the hairline.  I don’t think you’d be here if you didn’t know how to use blush.  Don’t overuse it and be sure to blend.  This should be your shortest step.

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Image result for mac eyebrow brush

Simply Naked Beauty Eyebrow Brush and Color

I use a Mac Brush but the prices on Amazon were insane.  This Simply Naked Beauty Eyebrow Color and Brush were way better bang for your buck!  I usually use the shading presso for double duty and fill in my brows.

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Maybelline The Magnum Volum’ Express Super Film Mascara 

When I’m in a rush or looking for a more natural look I don’t bother with eye shadow or eye liner.  Winged liner is my absolute fave on the weekends, but come on now…my kidlets don’t give a rat’s about how close to Adele my liner’s lookin’.

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

Skin Food Tomato Jelly Tint Lip #01 Cherry Tomato 

Wearing lipstick is the worst.  It either never lasts or it always lasts…on your teeth.  Skin Food to the rescue!  I’m a huge fan of lip balm and this jelly tint might just be my favourite genius Korean Make-up product.  It has a bright tint which actually does last, plus it’s hugely moisturizing.  Use as you’d normally pop on chapstick.

INGREDIENTS:

TOMATO JELLY TINT LIP #1 CHERRY TOMATO
Polybutene, Diisostearyl Malate, Octyldodecanol, Paraffin, Dipentaerythrityl Hexahydroxystearate/ Hexastearate/Hexarosinate, Microcrystalline Wax, Macadamia Ternifolia Seed Oil, Cetyl Ethylhexanoate, Hydroxystearic Acid, Solanum Lycopersicum (Tomato) Seed Oil, Tocopheryl Acetate, Diethylhexyl Syringylidenemalonate, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Synthetic Fluorphlogopite, Tin Oxide, Ethylhexylglycerin, Fragrance, Titanium Dioxide (Ci 77891), Mica (Ci 77019), Red 6 (Ci 15850), Red 7 (Ci 15850:1), Red 27 (Ci 45410:1), Red 30 (Ci 73360), Iron Oxide (Ci 77491), Barium Sulfate (Ci 77120), Carmine (Ci 75470)

Gotta have it?  Get it on Amazon:

…and there you have it!  4 minutes from drab to fab!  Well…no longer disastrous, at least.

What’s your favourite Korean Make-up product when you’re in a hurry?  Be sure to leave it in the comments so I can check it out!

Blonde Ambition: How to Get Golden Tresses in Korea

Every week on the message boards of Expat Women in Korea I’ll see a post about the plight of being Blonde in Korea.  Maintaining luscious, golden locks isn’t so tough if you have the right tools (or the right stylist – Kimchi Days and Soju Nights recommends JP Hair).  To all the blonde and/ or DIY (Do-It-Yourself) women in Korea, there are two salon supply stores in the Sincheon area (near Jamsil, not Hongdae).

How to Go Blonde in Korea - That Girl Cartier

How to Go Blonde in Korea - That Girl Cartier

The reason I’m actually blonde in the first place is due to a Korean hair salon f*ck up.  The first time I went in I wanted some warm highlights.  They did a great job of lightening up my practically black hair.  I was so thrilled, I even wrote a blog post about the experience.  Fast forward a few months to about this time last year.  I was heading up to Seoul from Busan to see my boyfriend at the time (he was a military man, but was one of the good guys – they exist!).  I asked that they give me all over highlights.  What I got was not at all what I had asked for!

Being Blonde in Korea - That Girl Cartier

I ended up with auburn (read: orange) hair, and was pretty peeved.  When I moved to Seoul I was told that hair dressers were more familiar with western hair, so when I went in for a cut and the stylists suggested highlights I was more inclined to go for it.  I have no photos, but the colour turned out the opposite of what you see above.  I had blonde hair and chunky dark brown roots.  After hair fail upon fail I took matters into my own hands.

Here are the directions for the salon supply store in Sincheon (by Jamsil in Seoul): take exit 4 of 신천 station. Walk directly out and turn left between the Lotteria and the McDonald’s. Walk about 3 blocks and you’ll see this shop on the left hand side.  The actual address is in the photos above (25 Olympic-ro 12-gil).

The lady speaks a bit of English and is pretty knowledgeable about colours.  She even helped me tone out pineapple yellow with dye since she doesn’t sell toner. The brand is one of the l’Oreal lines (Majirel) so it’s a lot less damaging (and has a lot less copper than typical box dye).

If you’re pulling colour from very dark hair, you’ll likely need to use a bleach.  My personal recommendation (I’m not a hair stylist) would be to get a highlighting cap.  This way you can subtly go from dark to light in a few steps.  Since you’re not paying a hair stylist, you can afford the time and effort it’ll take to go from dark to light safely.  Don’t be hasty, don’t be cheap, take care of yourself.  If you have to do it in a weekend, here’s a how-to guide.  My naturally dark brown hair always goes a brassy orange (because red is tough to pull).  To offset the orange you’ll need to apply colour with a hint of green (check out the color wheel).  I know that’s terrifying, but it works.  I usually combine a 10 and a 7 or an 8 when dying my hair.  My roots are almost always a different colour than the rest of my hair, but I try to ombré so that it doesn’t look chunky. It’s not perfect, but being blonde in Korea is tough!

Image result for hello bubble hair dye 10g

Vanilla gold?  Give it a hard pass.  This blonde in Korea box colour, especially in foam form, isn’t going to give you the change you’re looking for.  It’s just not strong enough to do a dang thing.

I have found a second salon supply store that’s actually closer to my gym and my apartment.  Sincheon is on an angle, however, so instructions would be difficult to follow.  If you’re looking for a greater selection please feel free to message me on my Facebook fan page (and give it a like while you’re at it!).

Like it? Pin it!

blonde-in-korea-that-girl-cartier-pinterest