Expat Dating Diaries: The Military Man

Expat Dating - The 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date - That Girl Cartier

Photographer: Amanda Jordan

This is not directed at any one person (save “the cherry incident”), it’s simply part of a lengthy and sarcastic series on The 7 Worst Guys an Expat Can Date!

I’d like to preface this edition of the Expat Dating Diaries with a lengthynote to all readers. Scroll down to TL;DR to skip! This series is designed to be sarcastic. It’s designed to incite a knowing laugh from women around the world living abroad. Many of you have met men like the ones inThe 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date. This is not a man-hating article. This is not a man-hating series. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I love dating! The stories and laughs I get from horrible dates make for girls’ night hilarity. The shared moments and memories from great dates make all the bad ones worth it.

soldier military camouflage war smoke man people

Photographer:Tyler Barnes

To the gentlemen reading (we’re about half and half, right now according to Google), thank you for checking out my blog. Sorry for the make-up and mush, but I’m assuming you knew what you were getting yourself into. You probablycan’t relate at all to these guys, you can see a couple of traits hereandthere in yourself, or you just want a good laugh at someone else’s expense. You could switch these statements right around and apply them to the ladies, too. I’m sure there are a number of traits you recognize in women from which you’d like to stay away. Why am I only writing about the dudes? Cause I don’t date women.

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Photographer:Takahiro Sakamoto

I have several friends married to wonderful men serving in the military. Some of them even met in Korea and got married here! My family has a history in the RAF (my badass Grandmother) andtheRCAF (my Grandfather). I dated a kind and generous man in the Air Force. I have no issue with the military. If you find a diamond in the rough, the Military Man will be the most loyal and caring gentleman in the world. The standard review of the Military Man (MM) in Korea, however, is that hes a dirty dawg.

pilot helicopter flight trip travel rescue marine sky people man rope hang

Photographer:Richard Revel


Whew! Now that that’s over with, let’s move on to the story. The Military Man wants to settle downin theory. Being deployed over and over again means hes a lone wolf. More often than not hes exclusively dating a few lovely ladies. Ive seen this countless times and am heartbroken for my friends who have been hurt.

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Photographer:Alondra Olivas

Three’s A Crowd

This is the kind of story I hear again and again. My friend from Busan met a Tinder guy in Seoul for brunch. He flew down to party with us in early spring. They continued to see each other long-distance, and she was smitten. The thing about men in Korea is that they seem to think that theyre entitled to two separate entities: foreigners and Koreans. They seem to believe thatnever the two shall meet. One long weekend 6 months into dating, she went up to stay with him. She left his place Monday morning as he had to work. Imagine her surprise when that very afternoon she saw him walking hand in hand with his Korean girlfriend off base in Gangnam. Wasnt he supposed to be at work? Hadnt they banged at his place that morning?

american flag usa united states helicopter air flying blue sky


The Cherry Incident

My favourite MM is a guy I have actually met on several occasions. We met through mutual friends on a day known in history as the cherry incident. This guy is in the army and has quite possibly the most beautiful apartment Ive ever seen in Korea. Marble counter-tops, hardwood floors, a Japanese toilet, and le piece de resistance: a washer and a dryer. When my gal pals, my ex, and I were invited over to his place, he provided top shelf alcohol, mixes, and garnishes and told us to help ourselves.

cherries fruits food healthy bowl

Photographer:Danielle MacInnes

For nearly 2 hours he rattled on and on about these beautiful, succulent, marinated cherries which were perfect in a Manhattan. My friend had to try them, of course! She couldnt open the jar, so after an eternity of trying she handed it over to me. Just as the lid to the jar popped open, time stood still and I heard a slow motion Nooooooo! from our host MM. The rest of the night was tainted by the wailings of a sullen MM butt hurt that his pristine jar of cherries had been opened and would have to actually be used. He also hit on me in front of my (now ex) boyfriend, then proceeded to tell me he wanted a one night stand with any of my friends in attendance. Class act, MM.

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Photographer:Jeff Cooper

Fast forward to March when I moved from Busan to Seoul. MM saw me on Tinder, and when we didnt match he went and found me on instagram. I was all moved in, but for two months he insisted he needed to help me move. Its impressive the creative ways these guys think up when trying to weasel their way into your apartment.

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Musical Chairs

While I havent dated this guy, Ive now met 4 girls who have. One of them was actually his live in girlfriend during the cherry incident. We didnt meet that night, but I would later find out that she (and 3 other friends of mine) had been wined and dined by this MM. Hes tried to intercept a couple of my friends dates by inviting their party of two over to his table. He even flew a Tinder girl from the United States to Vietnam to meet up for a tryst, and when she wouldnt put out he cancelled her ticket home.

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Photographer:Erik-Jan Leusink

The MM manages his time (and women) exceptionally well. Hes an sensational liar and a master manipulator who can maintain several relationships at once. Camouflage is key. His phone is glued to him at all times. Hell never let you see it, of course. MM must reply immediately for fear of mixing up names and dates.

Here lies Episode II of the Expat Dating Diaries and the 7 Worst Guys An Expat Can Date.

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That Girl Cartier is the alter-ego of a Canadian girl in Korea. A candid look at the expat life, That Girl Cartier explores Love, Beauty, Fashion and other finds around the world.

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