Dating During a Pandemic: Virtual Dating or Bust

If Love is Blind was any indication of what was to come, virtual dating is the new normal. We’re going into week 6 of social distancing and isolation. Covid-19 has changed everyone’s lives in some way, shape, or form. I think we’ve all put on a few pounds, questioned whether some hypothetical socializing method out in the world is okay (newsflash: sadly, it’s not), and romantic relationships may never be the same again.

Virtual Dating during Covid-19

The first week of the Great Canadian Quarantine, my Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder were busier than ever. These Toronto skeezbags were using the coronavirus as the ultimate wing-man. I’ve never had so many offers to “Netflix and Quarantine” in all my life. As we learned more about the virus and its severity, it became really easy to just unmatch those who wanted to bring beer, wine, and germs over to my place.

Virtual Dating during Covid-19

Week two I experienced a change in the behaviour of men on these apps. Conversations were longer. Men were opening up, being vulnerable about their emotional fragility during this uncertain time, and sharing their hobbies and interests on a deeper level. Chats like these can seem amazing and fulfilling, but don’t get caught up in the excitement. Both sides have time to come up with a response, and Prince Charming may only be able to sweep you off your feet due to preparation time and good old Google.

Chrissy Teigen's Cry Face

This past week I finally gave virtual dating a try. I had 1 phone and two video chat dates. The phone date was uncomfortable. The guy was definitely already wasted, talked about giving up on his freelance work in favour of CERB, and told me I was going to marry him.

Virtual Dating during Covid-19

My second virtual date was through an instagram video chat. At first, things were flowing pretty well. While he did seem to look like his pictures, right away I felt as though I wasn’t attracted to him. We have actually worked in the same industry. I worked for a company (years ago) that developed the first iteration of the platform about which he was complaining. You have to give someone the benefit of the doubt with technology which can lag, but it didn’t take too long to realize that he was just talking over me and wasn’t willing to let me get a word in edgewise.

Virtual Dating during Covid-19

I would ask him questions – a pretty normal practice to engage in conversation. He would answer, but would not reciprocate with a question for me. Eventually we just sat there nodding while I waited for him to bring something to the table. Lags in conversation can be really unbearable in person, but when virtual dating it’s really tempting to just X out of the chat.

Virtual Dating during Covid-19

The last virtual dating experience actually went really well. I poured a glass of wine and immediately spilled it everywhere. He laughed, but was cool about it. Conversation flowed really well. None of it was the standard small talk. We talked about our families, our passions, and what we would do on our first “real” date once extreme social distancing ends. He was rugged and masculine. His mannerisms and body language were chill and relaxed. From what I’ve seen so far, I’m into it. It might not be magic in person, but at least I know that he’s not going to cut me off each time I go to speak on “in-person” date #1.

Love Is Blind

Ultimately, the virtual date is going to be awkward and tense at first. The new normal requires a change in perspective. You can either adapt or get reaaaal comfortable with isolation. Online dating can be a colossal waste of time, but I’ve had a couple of nice relationships thanks to their help. If you’re getting butterflies, kick things up a notch. Love is not blind, as we’ve discovered. The pods can only last so long. Save yourself some time and energy. Virtual or bust.

Love Is Blind

Have you tried virtual dating throughout the pandemic?

Let us know what app and method of virtual dating you’ve given a shot (and how it went!) in the comments below.

Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic: Medical Experts in Toronto

Photo: Robert Evans

When I lived in Korea, I was absolutely astounded by the number of cosmetic surgery and plastic surgery clinics there were just in the Sinsa-dong area of Seoul. 1 in 3 women in South Korea have had plastic surgery. South Korea has the highest rate of plastic surgeries per capita in the world. That’s why they say Seoul is the plastic surgery capital of the planet. I spent 2015 – 2018 in South Korea; two of those years living in Seoul.

Photo: Robert Evans

Cosmetic Surgery in Toronto

Since returning to Toronto two years ago, I have been invited to visit several clinics. My first question is always, “Do you have a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon performing injections and cosmetic surgery procedures?” Until a couple of weeks ago, 100% of the representatives for the clinics replied that they only had medical esthetic practitioners, or nurse injectors. I don’t know about you, but if someone is sticking a needle near my eye, I want to know that they have more experience than a handful of Saturdays of training.

Image result for dr. diego delgado

Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic

I met with Dr. Diego Delgado, Medical Director of Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic who is also a Clinician Investigator at the Toronto General Hospital Research Institute, an Associate Professor in the Division of Cardiology and Cardiac Transplantation at the University Health Network, and a faculty member of the Institute of Medical Science at the University of Toronto. Procedures at Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic are carried out by medical professionals who are certified by both the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario and the Ontario Nursing Association.

The Team at Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic

I also met with Managing Director, Olga Olenka, and Nurse Anna, who you can see in the video above talking about some of my favourite skincare products from Vivier Skin. We discussed some of the procedures I’ve had in Korea as well as those I’ve tried out since returning to Toronto. I’ve had Dysport (a competitor of Botox) twice (forehead and crow’s feet once each), a facial peel, dermaplaning (an exfoliation technique to rid the face of hair and the first layer of dead skin), a Fire and Ice facial, and an IPL.

VISIA Facial Assessment Report

Since I do take care of my skin fairly well, the team suggested that rather than going straight for the lasers, I should have my skin analysed by their VISIA Facial Assessment machine.

“IntelliFlash®, cross-polarized and UV lighting are used to record and measure surface and subsurface skin conditions. UV photography provides the most complete data set available for sun damage assessment and analysis, including UV fluorescence imaging to reveal porphyrins.

Canfield’s RBX® Technology separates the unique color signatures of Red and Brown skin components for unequaled visualization of conditions that result in color concentration, such as spider veins, hyperpigmentation, inflammation and other conditions.”

My VISIA Facial Assessment Report at Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic was actually a lot better than expected. You never really know what’s going on with your skin until you can see deeper into the layers on skin. The ideal score is 100%, but that would be wild considering most skin damage occurs in the first 5 years of life.

My scores:

  • Spots: 66%
  • Wrinkles: 61%
  • Texture: 79%
  • Pores: 67%
  • UV Spots: 61%
  • Brown Spots: 58%
  • Red Areas: 67%
  • Porphyrins (Bacteria): 89%

The system suggested a number of treatments to get my skin to its best. They’re fairly non-invasive treatments which I’ve already been doing. Looks like if I continue with my current regimen and add just a few more treatments, I’ll have the best chance of great skin as I age.

My Custom Suggestions:

  • Botox (a 10-minute treatment which can last for up to 4 months)
  • Latisse (an FDA-approved treatment to grow fuller, longer lashes)
  • Silk Peel (a 3-in-1 dermatological treatment that exfoliates, extracts, and infuses skin with condition-specific serums for a one-step all-inclusive treatment)
  • Fractional Laser Skin Resurfacing (laser technology which generates collagen and elastin to improve fine lines, wrinkles, scars, and other surface imperfections)
  • Platelet-rich plasma Vampire Facial (An injectable treatment that will increase rebuilding of tissue by stimulating new collagen and blood vessel formation. Helps with acne scars, wrinkles, sun damage, dark circles, and overall skin tone).
  • Photofacial IPL (Laser treatment for brown spots, sun damage, and vessels without harming the surrounding skin)
  • Skin Tightening (Multi-polar radio frequency and pulsed electro magnetic fields to produce heat under the skin’s surface. The process helps icrease collagen and elastin fibers while also shrinking the volume of fat cells)

Trust

Any type of procedure – be it elective or emergency – requires a high degree of trust between the patient and the Doctor of Nurse. Having visited Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic yesterday for my VISIA Facial Assessment (as well as an other procedure I’m excited to tell you all about) I think I’ve found my new spot. The team is dedicated, present, and friendly. I felt very well taken-care of by Dr. Diego, Olga, and Anna throughout my visit!

How to Get to Vita Cosmetic & Laser Clinic

  • Address: 27 Rean Dr Unit 7, North York, ON M2K 0A6
  • Phone: (416) 639-1882
  • Hours:
    Sunday: Closed
    Monday: 9 AM – 7 PM
    Tuesday: 9 AM – 7 PM
    Wednesday: 9 AM – 7 PM
    Thursday: 9 AM – 7 PM
    Friday: 9 AM – 7 PM
    Saturday: 10 AM – 3 PM

Miracle 10’s Kabuki Brush – Worth the Splurge

Kabuki Brush

“This super soft multi-purpose Kabuki brush can sweep, finish, bronze and mattify. Safe for even the most sensitive skin. Plus, it’s totally cute and fits in any makeup bag (even the tiny ones).”

Adding a Kabuki Brush to my Standard Rotation

Adding a Kabuki Brush to my kit changed my relationship with foundation. I suppose my skin had adapted to the pollution in Seoul, because I rarely wore all-over makeup when living in Korea. In Toronto, however, my skin just doesn’t look as bright or flawless, and I’ve been finding myself wanting to smooth things out more and more. I hate the caked on look of foundation. When Miracle 10 Cosmetics offered me a chance to scoop up a few items from their brand new line, I figured I might as well give it a try. It’s not such a crazy splurge as a Kabuki Brush from Fenty or Mac Cosmetics will run around the same price (or higher).

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Take your pick 🤔😍 ⁣#miracle10 #glowgetter

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How to Use the Miracle 10 Cosmetics Kabuki Brush

I’ve been using this brush exclusively with foundation, and am obsessed with the results. Other brushed have left broken bristles (and black flecks all over my face – no thanks). This one has held strong. As opposed to a makeup sponge, with the Kabuki brush I get that ultra-smooth look. I don’t have to use too much product, either. I haven’t used it with bronzer or blush, but the website suggests the following if you choose multi-use:
“Using this brush is an absolute dream. It can be used with your bronzer, powder, blush or to create an airbrushed look with your foundation. When switching between products, spritz with a little Rejuvenating Mist and dab onto a tissue. When applying blush tighten the surface area of the brush by pinching the bristles together a bit (as opposed to holding the handle).”
What does she really want for Valentine’s Day? If she’s like me, probably not chocolates; maybe roses. Definitely some great-quality, locally-sourced (Yorkville, bébé) skincare and cosmetics from an innovative, nimble company like Miracle 10 which is led by and largely run by women.

Valentine’s Day in Toronto: A Date With Dasha

Valentine’s Day in Toronto

I spent last Valentine’s Day getting filthy. An early morning sweat session was just what the doctor ordered, and I went for it first thing in the morning. It lasted about 45 minutes, and it was a mad dash to get ready and get to work.

I spent last Valentine’s Day working out. What did you think I meant? 

Last Valentine’s Day was actually quite sweet. I got up and headed to F45 where my Valentine’s at St. Clair West got my endorphins going. I did, in fact, rush to work, and was greeted by one of my favourite security guards handing out roses. Nice work, Brookfield. I spent lunchtime with my on and off beau of a year and a half. We’re still talking, but I’ve since set some boundaries since we ultimately just want different things. He’s one of the guys on the The Worst Guys A Re-Pat Can Date in Toronto  and his name actually rhymes with Dasha.

A couple of weeks ago I got a canned e-mail from the team at Dasha advertising their Valentine’s special. No longer being part of a couple (and a little burned by the naming convention reminder) I cracked wise on instagram asking if they’d like to have me hunched over a bar stool singing Céline Dion. Turns out – they were into it. With that in mind…

Join us on February 14th for a Date with Dasha!

An upscale karaoke party for singles, friends, lovers or whomever else your heart desires!

TICKETS: $25 (Click here to get yours!)

WHATS IN IT FOR YOU:

  • A welcome shooter (to set the mood – I’m calling it a “Love Shot” for EXO fans)
  • Appetizers (canapé-style food in Dasha’s private dinning room)
  • Access to 5 unique karaoke rooms ALL NIGHT LONG!

We will have a cash bar in the Private Dining Room (featured above) stocked and loaded for your night out.

Our bartenders will be serving up the best of the best – whether it be a customized cocktail from Dasha or a classic shot of tequila to get your pipes ready; you pick your poison.

This is a 19+ event and tickets are non-refundable.

Her Majesty’s Pleasure Yorkville is Now Open

The Yorkville kid sister to King West’s Her Majesty’s Pleasure opened not with a bang, but with a whimper. The expansive space nestled around the corner, behind, and up 3 flights up stairs from Versace hit the scene without much fanfare. That said, it’s well worth visiting.

I never thought I’d describe a veritable instagram dream-house in such a manner. It’s almost like a more sophisticated HideSeek with the added bonus of an upscale bar and some hair and nail services. It’s certainly my new happy place.

The décor at Her Majesty’s Pleasure in Yorkville is much more vibrant than its King West pretty in pink counterpart. It reminded me of the daring mix of colours combined by Flack Studio (an interior design studio from Australia) for Caravan Seoul.

No dialing for champagne here, it’s a cocktail-lover’s dream. The menu is a great mix of smoothies, kombucha, and items a little more spirit-forward for the “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” crowd. I tried the Purple Plane (a play on the classic Aviation). It was made of gin, Luxardo maraschino, Cointreau, lemon, and blueberry bitters. On a Sunday afternoon after a haircut and a manicure, one was enough for me. I’d love to come back and give a few others a try.

The real star of the show was Shamara, a junior stylist (seriously? My luck!) at Her Majesty’s Pleasure Yorkville. She turned my massive, messy mop into trendy, tamed tresses. I was promised no judgment (I just went from blonde to brunette and my locks aren’t the only thing damaged in my world). No judgment (and a great cut) was what I got.

We shared plenty of giggles trying to chop off as much of the dead weight as possible (my goal for life in general, this season). My polish change (quick shape and polish) was fine, although after a couple of days the polish was nearly all scratched off. Give it a pass unless you’re getting shellac.

I’m trying to grow in my natural colour, so I’ll definitely be back to Shamara. She will tone the red out and keep this fantastic shape up. Her rates are probably the most reasonable in Yorkville right now ($65 for cut and style). She won’t be considered a Junior Stylist for long. I can’t recommend her enough!

The website for Her Majesty’s Pleasure Yorkville only shows the King West location’s menu. Click the individual images above to pick your poison well in advance of your visit.

How to Get to Her Majesty’s Pleasure Yorkville

  • Address: 102 Yorkville Avenue, Unit 5, Toronto, Ontario, M5R 1B9
  • Phone: +1 416-546-4991
  • Hours: Monday – Saturday 10 AM – 8 PM, Sunday 10 AM – 6 PM
  • Book an Appointment at Yorkville: Click Here

 

The Publicist Group – Beauty Inside Out

Publicist Group: Beauty Head to Toe & Inside-Out

The Publicist Group is made up of a small, but mighty, group of motivated, business-savvy, stunning, and strong women.  Led by Melissa “MJ” Jovanoski and Cheryl Willberg, the entire TPG squad is worthy of a mega girl crush/ #WCW/ #goals. The women of TPG would have sat at the “popular table” in high school. This time, however, they actually want you to be the best you can be (and they invite you to every party!) Over the past year I’ve been invited to a number of events and activations all with a common goal: Beauty and Strength Inside & Out.

We are The Publicist Group aka TPG! We are a full-service communications agency that offers everything from traditional PR programs and marketing initiatives to ambassador programs and direct-to-consumer activations at the retail level, utilizing both traditional and digital platforms. Most importantly – we work with brands we love, including fashion, beauty, food, health & wellness, and lifestyle. Check us out @PublicistGroup! #TPG

Be seen and heard in all the right places with The Publicist Group. As a full-service communications agency located in the heart of downtown Toronto,
TPG offers an array of services from PR and marketing to events and influencer programs. Our team executes 360-degree strategies; delivers original, creative and result-driven campaigns; and loves to make noise across  the country with our clients’ initiatives.

We’ve got you covered, literally.

The Publicist Group is a collective of digital strategists, event planners, marketers, creative geniuses, social media gurus, and publicists. We don’t follow trends; we are trendsetters. Staying in tune with current events around the globe, the TPG team identifies shifts in the marketplace and are experts in creating relevant, newsworthy, and impactful programs that leave a lasting impression.

Fit Factory

The Publicist Group introduced me to the Fit Factory Fitness when I was right in the middle of tapering off at Big Hit Studios and kicking off a challenge at F45 St. Clair West. Conveniently located on King St. West a few blocks East of Spadina, it’s billed as the #1 Gym in Toronto. Personally, I found their Bootcamp to be overcrowded. With only one trainer providing a very quick overview of an intense workout, I was concerned about my safety as veterans tossed around heavy weights and newbies tried to follow suit. The boxing class, on the other hand, was a stellar workout. The trainers were energetic and the class itself had varying levels of intensity. The water bags were also pretty wild and fun to smack around!

City Shred

City Shred is a massive group workout hosted once a quarter by The Publicist Group and sponsored by Genuine Health. The energy is electric and it’s an opportunity to meet some of the biggest names in fitness in Toronto, as well as special guests from around the world. I missed the July edition due to the rat situation, but back in March I crushed their Women’s edition. I got to enjoy a day which started with round-table discussion with the coaches who would be leading us through the day.

The key to mastering City Shred is to go at your own pace. I’m not the machine I was 2 years ago, and I certainly wasn’t prepared to compete with fitness professionals who coach several classes a day while I’m at my desk. Find your own space, take yourself beyond your comfort level, and have fun making friends and admiring those showing off their bad-ass muscles. Ps. Can you spot me in the preview of the video above? #SweatyBetty

Sproos Life

Collagen is the most abundant protein in your body. Taking a collagen supplement can help improve your skin, relieve joint pain, boost muscle mass, prevent bone loss, promote heart health, aid in digestion and gut health, and make your hair and nails grow. The benefits of adding collagen to my diet weren’t clear until I stopped taking it daily. Subtle aches and pains after sitting at my desk for a while suddenly returned. Bouncing back after a night out wasn’t quite so easy. My poor bleached and butchered hair started to break again. Sproos Life is a collagen supplement to which I was introduced by TPG at the gorgeous Pray Tell on College St. We mixed cocktails and mocktails which each had a serving of collagen mixed-in.

sproos-02-grass-fed-tub-A-front@2x

Hydrolyzed bovine collagen peptides sourced from the hides of grass-fed, pasture-raised North American cattle, to help restore and rebuild your body’s natural collagen.

  • 10 g of grass-fed bovine collagen per serving
  • Pure collagen – nothing else added
  • Highly soluble
  • 100% grass-fed and grass-finished
  • Free of antibiotics, hormones and pesticides
  • Add to your favourite hot or cold beverage, or even to soups or oatmeal

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The 4th Annual T.O. Vegan Social Pop Up

Toronto Vegan Social Pop-Up is happening Thursday September 5th from 6:30 PM – 10:30 PM at Love Child Social House!

Reserve your tickets by 9 PM EST on Monday, September 2nd, 2019, to automatically be entered in the draw to WIN AN EPIC $1,000+ VEGAN PRIZE PACK!

Tickets are $35 and available on Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/toronto-vegan-social-pop-up-presented-by-vegan-social-events-tickets-48658251139

This year, Vegan Social Events will be collecting donations on the Eventbrite page, in support of Save Our Scruff, a registered charitable organization dedicated to rescuing dogs.

Vivier

At the end of February, the team introduced me to Vivier. We learned about how to combat signs of aging using skincare products including retinol and spf. With my upcoming vacation to The Philippines, I wasn’t quite ready to play with tools which would initially irritate my skin (the purge!). So, I waited until the beginning of May to get started with this line. I haven’t yet written a full-scale review because 3 of the 5 products in the kit we were so generously gifted are still trucking along 4 months later!

Myndful Me

Myndful Me was sadly a bit of a bust for me. We went checked out the space and learned how to make charcoal cookies with adaptogens after being led through a meditation practice. The music and the direction made for a very pensive, but relaxing evening. I purchased their $30 unlimited 1-month special and was told I could use it whenever. I had a couple of upcoming trips, so I didn’t want to use it until the new year. When I tried to apply my purchase I was told it had expired. Correspondence to correct the issue was never responded to. Not so zen, eh?

Toppik Canada & Viviscal Canada

Big thanks to @publicistgroup for bringing me along to the stunning #LoveYourStory event at @stregistoronto! I got to hear from a plethora of women who have learned to love their own stories of struggle and trauma and turn them into an armor of confidence with a lining of understanding.

  • Events with this team always have motivational speakers, the most stunning décor, phenomenal food, and an interactive component so you don’t just see a product/ brand, you become part of it.
  • I woke up the next morning and treated my stressed tresses to @viviscal@viviscalcanada shampoo, conditioner, and desensifying elixir. My hair is already thick, so this leo was rocking a full mane that day! It actually dried faster and was easier to manage when straightening. I typically have a lot of breakage (bottle blonde) , so let’s see if we can put an end to my split ends! 👱‍♀️

Featuring a PR team on my personal blog isn’t exactly the status quo around here. Every time I get an e-mail about an event or activation from TPG I think to myself, “Wow – that’s out of the box”. There’s only so much you can see on my  feed/ in my stories, and because of this I wanted to share something a little more permanent. Over the past year The Publicist Group has proven that  being true to yourself and your vision, rather than accepting business for the sake of having business, goes a long way.

Dating Diaries – Stop Dating Ugly Men

“If you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty woman your wife…”

This Jimmy Soul tune blasts through my head every time I swipe right on a guy who isn’t generically attractive, but who looks goofy and like he would be a good time. I hate to admit it, but I figure that a guy who isn’t exactly a stud would make for a more committed partner and potentially even a good father to offspring (should we ever be so lucky with my dusty old eggs).

Why I Gave Ugly Men a Try

What’s that old saying – “You’ve gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince”? Well – I’m making my way through the toads, right now. Toronto hasn’t exactly been a mecca for good-looking men, full stop. Let’s not even get started on the qualities I actually desire in a partner. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then, pursuant to my newest hobby of cutting the crazy, I’ve been trying something a little different.

I date hot men. While I’m certainly not a 10 myself, I find it easier to strike up a conversation with an attractive, confident man, than someone has “nice guys finish last” on repeat. I bat outside my league pretty frequently, but what has that ever gotten me? Heartbreak and absolute agony was what I got from Adonis, I was cheated on by ex co-p, and ghosted by the hotness monster. I’m trying to date within my means and based on common values and interests.

Back to the Song. The lyrics go:

"If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind."

Okay so the song itself is dated and offensive, sure. Remember – it was released in 1963 and I’m considering it all from my own personal perspective towards men, capisce? I’m swiping right on these guys I’m certainly not over the moon about. Give these plain boys a chance, right? Sadly, I’m getting the exact same result except now there’s no eye candy.

It’s amazing! Even if we’ve had a good time and I’ve convinced myself that I could grow to love someone’s gummy horse teeth or his Frankenstein five-head. Hot or not, I often get the message back that they had a great time and would love to see me again, but just as friends. It makes me wonder – what part of me is the Frankenstein bit?

Hunky Guys and Ugly Men – they’re all the same inside.

I can whittle myself down attacking every point which could have put me in dim lighting. A comment, perhaps, which made me appear as a know it all. My weight – it always comes down to that, doesn’t it? At the end of the day, I think it’s just that the dude didn’t want to be rejected first. Recently, I had simply thanked the guy for a lovely evening and for picking up the cheque (which he didn’t need to do, but was nice). His immediate response was to send back the “just friends” message. No part of me thought it was a love match and sparks certainly were not flying. I’d have given the poor bloke a second chance to redeem himself, though.

Stop Dating Ugly Men

I can’t imagine a man analyzing his looks and behavior the way I picked apart mine. So, I guess that’s just it. If there’s no immediate, earth-shaking spark, you must hurt them before they can hurt you. Both ugly men and beautiful ones will give you grief if they’re out to give you grief. Stop selling yourself short. If the uggos have the kind of confidence to hit on you, you might as well swing for the fences, too. Better to receive disappointing news from a pretty face, don’t you agree?

*Beauty is subjective. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure!

Dating Diaries: Is Your Tinder/ Bumble/ Hinge Profile Hurting Your Game?

Pyeongchang Winter Olympics Sculpture Abstract Art

During the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics, if you visited the Olympic Village you were gifted your very old gold medal – er Tinder account. Tinder upped the ante by giving each and every member enjoying the festivities in and around Gangwon province special privileges. It was entirely overwhelming for the women I knew, but for men it was an absolute blessing.

gold laurel wreath

With a Tinder Gold account you can see who likes you (has swiped right), change your location, and hide your age (if that’s your jam?) You get unlimited likes, can rewind the last swipe (no more swiping left on your soulmate!), and you get 5 superlikes a day (LOL cause you need to joke that often, right?) From my straight male friends’ perspectives, they get far fewer matches than the ladies. Jackpot with Tinder Gold. For us gals? Too many matches to sort through (humblebrag, but only kind of!) I found that I was no longer swiping through men in my area, but was limiting myself to those who had swiped right. What a mess of offensive images, profile bios, and anecdotes!

tinder dating app phone swipe right

If you’re finding you’re not getting quality matches, maybe it’s time to analyse your own profile on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or any other of the plethora of window-shopping opportunities you can manage from your smartphone while dropping a deuce.

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other dating apps are taking over the way we meet people and begin relationships. Is your profile hurting your game? Typically when I put together an online dating profile, I think about how someone from my company would react if they stumbled upon it. This probably stems from the fact that I used to work for Plenty of Fish, but it’s a good rule of thumb, too. First dates are like job interviews – you’re seeing if there’s a mutual connection. Always be honest, but make sure to put your best foot forward. I went to my instagram followers to see what the most off-putting profile elements were for them. As the saying goes, ladies first:

Ladies’ Tinder/ Bumble/ Hinge Profile Fails

Ladies’ Photo Fails

  • Photos that are too dark or far away – we want to see what you actually look like – yes, even on Tinder!
  • Group pictures – if your profile is all group picture, we’re assuming you’re the “ugly one”.
  • Overly filtered/ Snapchat – That dang puppy ear/ mouth filter. You’re 35, woman. Get your act together. If you don’t show up on a date with those damn ears, you’re paying for the drinks or craft supplies I’ll need for that to be a reality.
  • Dirty Mirror Selfies – or ones with unmade beds or clothes all over the floor. If you can’t clean up, at least learn how to crop!
  • Only headshots – do yourself a favour and have at least one full-body shot. If you’re not his cup of tea, it’s better not to match at all (in my personal opinion).
  • Old photos – we have the most advanced camera phones out there. Why are you still using your webcam?
  • DUCK FACE – none of us are Paris Hilton and this isn’t 2002.

Ladies’ Profile Fails

  • Trashing the ex – if your Tinder/ dating profile has a laundry list of things your next boyfriend better not replicate from your last relationship, it shows that maybe you’re not quite over that ex of yours, maybe you’re still harboring resentment/ hurt feelings, and maybe you’re not quite ready to move on. Not the best look, right?
  • Listing things you want in a relationship – pretty much any laundry list isn’t going to portray you as the most open-minded person on the planet. Also, throwing yourselves into a relationship scares most men (and women!) Go out on a date before deciding that he’s “the one”!
  • Negativity – most people want someone around whom they can relax and be themselves. If you’re already showing lots of negativity in your profile I think most people would agree it’s a left swipe!

Men’s Tinder/ Bumble/ Hinge Profile Fails

Men’s Photo Fails

  • Photos that are too dark or far away – we want to see what you actually look like.
  • Group pictures – if your profile is all group picture, we’re assuming you’re the “ugly one”.
  • Only selfies – do you have friends? Is your body not proportionate to your head?
  • Shirtless selfies/ gym mirror selfies – again: do you have friends? Why aren’t they telling you to stop this?
  • Riding an elephant or cuddling a drugged up tiger – it’s 2019. We KNOW BETTER.
  • Drinking straight from the bottle – Even on Tinder, it’s just not classy! Is this something you do so often that you feel you need to advertise this element of your life right away?
  • Fishing – honestly? I like getting out in nature, but there’s just something about someone displaying a live fish like a trophy that’s totally off-putting.
  • Middle finger up or other lewd gestures. Why, guys, why?
  • Picture of your junk – okay, so meeting the love of my life on Tinder is very unlikely, but even if someone is just on the app for a good time, not a long time – women value a little mystique. Women tend to react more emotionally than visually, too. Putting your junk out there isn’t as effective as, say, going out for a few drinks and creating an emotionally stimulating connection. Food for thought.

Men’s Profile Fails

  • No bio – putting no effort into your bio at all tips the scales for me. Even if you’re really cute, I know nothing about you and will most likely swipe left.
  • Just your height – this is almost worse than having no bio at all. Really? You think that’s all it boils down to? I’m interested in way more than your height, just as I hope there are various elements of my personality and my life which will be of interest to you.
  • “Tell you later” – uhhh, no you won’t ’cause I’ve just swiped left.
  • “No fatties” – bugger off. Seriously? You’re no prized pig, yourself. Even when I was in the best shape of my life (for me I was about 20% body fat and damn – I looked and felt great!) I’d swipe left on anyone who wrote this in their bio. That’s so rude and hurtful and unnecessary.
  • “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott” – We’ve all seen The Office. This isn’t original or funny anymore, it just shows you’ve given no thought to your bio. Special mention to: “Work hard, play hard” and “You win some, you lose some”. Next!
  • Having “Assistant to the Regional Manager” or “Mr. Manager” as your job title. See above.
  • Fake testimonials – “Takes great pictures without his shirt on” – My Mirror, “Get out of our house” – My Mom, “Woof” – My dog.  PLEASE STOP DOING THIS

Have I missed any major dating profile faux pas? Let me know in the comments!

Candidly Cartier: The Power of No

Men are simple. Women are often pretty simple, too. We all want what we can’t have. Anything that is out of reach is challenge; a goal. It bothers most of us when we’re given a simple “no”. Isn’t it amazing how one little two-letter word can hold so much power?

Patterns in relationships are changing. As they evolve, I find that traditional, cisgendered, heterosexual relationships are going the way of the dinosaur. “Love who and how you want to love” is my sentiment, but my ultimate goal is a lot more traditional. As much as I hate being cookie-cutter, I like the option of a conventional relationship. I’ll put it right out there: I want to get married and have a family. I’d like to be able to dance with my father in a nice dress at my wedding (albeit destination with a limited guestlist).

Do you have to take some “settle” when you want to settle down? My mother always told me, “men are like streetcars – another will be along in a few minutes.” Sure, but if you’ve ever taken the TTC during rush hour, you’ll know it’s a balancing act to get on and a fight to the finish. Welcome to dating in Toronto. A signal problem is effecting all lines. Welcome to your thirties.

TTC Crabs

Toronto takes the cake for crappy dating pools. The men in Toronto are old, crusty towels with tinder profiles stating their height and “no fatties”. Riveting. When you meet one who is good-looking, is employed and ambitious, and takes care of himself, can you imagine the desperation he must be able to smell? Quality men are not like streetcars. They don’t come along frequently, and when they do I’m assuming single women look at them like they’re unicorns. I mean – I certainly do.

These men are used to hearing the word “No”, but they’re not used to women meaning it. I’ll probably get a lot of flack for this, but women I know and others I read about or watch on TV often fall into the same old script of saying no then giving in. These dudes are smooth! They often get what they want without even asking. There’s power in pushing him away – channel it.

There is power in “No”. The saying “always leave them wanting more” isn’t unique to dating, but the shoe sure does fit. Silly romantic comedies with particular sets of rules exist for a reason – we’re the rule, not the exception. If you (er – I) want to have a traditional relationship, when I meet a new unicorn, a coy McCoy and negative Nancy I’ll sure as sh*t need to be.

Re-pat Dating Diaries: “LOL – It’s Complicated”

Looking back on my teen through mid-twenties crushes, I thought the juiciest thing in the world was the time at the beginning of a relationship. The heart/ gut-wrenching “does he or doesn’t he like me” feeling was one I looked back on almost fondly. Potential romance was fleeting, but almost as lovely as the romance itself. The excitement, the uncertainty, the torture, and the relief were things I looked back on as feeling like my heart was on fire.

That feeling left me entirely for three years, and for that I’m now so thankful. While I was in Korea, I dated 3 men who, in the beginning, gave me no feelings of uncertainty. I developed feelings not just of confidence, but self-assurance and safety from my partner. It wasn’t precarious – in the beginning I never felt like I was about to fall or my world collapse.

Dating now that I’m back in Toronto is disappointing. I keep meeting these complete and total losers who genuinely make me feel like I should give up and get a cat (or a second job!) Then, it’s like the Universe recognizes my disappointment in humanity; my loneliness.

I’m certainly not the free-spirited, lithe, fun-loving woman I was from 28-31. I’ve gained weight, lost confidence, and have retreated to the lost little girl I was in my teens through mid twenties. A glimmer of hope in romance leaves a world of doubt. Still, the Universe has brought me a forest fire.

I want a partner – someone with whom I can adventure, but also in which I can confide. This man is irreverent, masculine, sexy, and arrogant. He hasn’t quite shown me many of the answers to his brooding mystery, yet. Over the past year I’ve questioned whether I would ever be “cool enough” for a relationship with him. Recently, he has made me feel safe in the most emotionally nourishing intimacy I’ve experienced since I packed the man I still consider to be the love of my life into a taxi to the airport.

You can have sex without intimacy, and I’ve had incredible intimacy without sex. Just having someone hold you and interlock your fingers in theirs is like the emotional Kama Sutra.

Will he or won’t he feel the same way?